☉18° ♊, ☽27° ♌ A° IV.༌.xvi
But concerning the Medium by whose sensitive Nature our Magick Force is transmitted to the Object of our Working, doubt not. For already in other Galaxies of Physics have we been compelled to postulate an Æthyr wholly hypothetical in order to explain the Phenomena of Light, Electricity, and the like; nor doeth any Man demand Demonstration of the Existence of that Æthyr other than its Conformity with general Law. Thou therefore, Creator and Transmitter of thine own Energy, needest not to ask whether by this or by some other Means thou performest thy Work. Yet I know not why this Æthyr of the Mathematicians and the Physicians should not be one with the Astral Light, or Plastic Medium or Aub, Aud, Aur (these three being a Trinity) of which our own Sages have spoken. And this Meditation may bring forth much Knowledge physical, which is good, for that which is above is like that which is beneath, and the Study of any Law leadeth to the Understanding of all Law. So mayst thou learn in the End that there is no Law beyond Do what thou wilt. (Liber Aleph, pg. 56)
5. These excerpts begin late in a series of meditations on said topic matter. I have also added the quotes from Liber Aleph to give my commentary some contextual background.
And how then (sayst thou) shall I reconcile this Art Magick with that Way of the Tao which achieveth all Things by doing nothing? But this have I already declared to thee in Part, showing that thou canst do no Magick save it be thy Nature to do Magick and so the true Nothing for thee. For to do nothing signifieth to interfere with nothing so that for a Magician to do no Magick is to commit Violence on himself. Yet learn also that all Action is in some sense Magick, being an essential Part of that Great Magical Work which we call Nature. Then thou hast no free Will? Verily, thou hast said. Yet nevertheless it is thy necessary Destiny to act with that free Will. Thou canst do nothing save in accordance with that true Nature of thine and of all Things, and every Phenomenon is the Resultant of the Totality of Forces; Amen. Then thou needest take no Thought and make no Effort? Thou sayst sooth; yet, art thou not compelled to Thought and Effort in the Way of Nature? Yea, I, thy Father, work for thee solicitously, and also I laugh at thy Perplexities; for so was it fore- ordained that I should do, by Me, from the Beginning. (Liber Aleph, pg. 57)
6. I considered then, and still do today, that good circulation is key to the assessment of good form. If your limbs are falling asleep, you're either jumping ahead prematurely, or doing the asana incorrectly.
De Comedia UniversaQuae Dicitur PAN
So, therefore, o my Son, count thyself happy when thou understandest all these Things, being one of those Beings (or By-comings) whom we call Philosophers. All is a never ending Play of Love wherein our Lady Nuit and Her Lord Hadit rejoice; and every Part of the Play is Play. All pain is but sharp Sauce to the Dish of Pleasure; for it is the Nature of the Universe that hath devised this everlasting Banquet of Joy. And he that knoweth not this is necessary as an Ingredient even as thou art; wouldst thou change all and spoil the Dish? Art thou the Master-Cook? Yea, for thy Palate is become fine with thy great Dalliance with the Food of Experience; therefore thou art one of them that rejoice. Also it is thy Nature as it is mine, o my Son, to will that all Men share our Mirth and Jollity; wherefore have I proclaimed my Law to Man, and thou continuest in that Work of Joyaunce. (Liber Aleph, pg. 58)
Moreover this Matter touches the Nature of Truth. For although to thee in thy True Self, absolute and without Conditions, all this Universe, which is relative and conditioned is an Illusion; yet to that Part of Thee by which thou perceivest it, the Law of its Being (or By-coming) is a Law of Truth. Learn then that all Relations are true upon their own Plane, and that it would be a Violation of Nature to adjust them skewwise. Thus, albeit thou hast found thy Self, and knowest Thy Self immortal and immutable beyond Time and Space, free of Causality, so thoroughly that even thy Mind partaketh constantly thereof, thou hast in no wise altered the Relations of thy Body with its Syndromics in the World whereof it is a Part. Wouldst thou lengthen the Life of thy Body? Then accommodate thou the Conditions of thy Body to its Environment by giving it Light, Air, Food, and Exercise as its Nature requireth. So also, mutatis mutandis, do thou cherish the Health of thy Mind. (Liber Aleph, pg. 61)
Consider Drunkenness, how by Variation of bodily Conditions thou mayst alter its Effect upon the Mind, and the Contrary, remembering the Discipline of Theophrastus Paracelsus, how, opposing Wine to bodily Exercise, he obtained a certain Purification and Exaltation/ Yet, were he seven times greater, he had not done this with Oil of Vitriol. Learn then that there are certain definite Channels of Action and Reaction between Body and Mind; sound these, and trim thy Sails accordingly, not thinking that thou art in the open Sea. And if so be that thou in thy sounding findest new Channels, rejoice and map them for the Profit of thy Fellows; But remember always that to find a new Way up a Precipice removeth not the Precipice. For where thou, o Angel and yet Man, hast trod delicately albeit without Fear, Fools will rush in to their Destruction. (Liber Aleph, pg. 63)
There may be failure to understand the case; as when a doctor makes a wrong diagnosis, and his treatment injures his patient. There may be failure to apply the right kind of force, as when a rustic tries to blow out an electric light. (ch. 1)
10. New LBRP: I have created several versions of the LBRP. By this point, I had created a version of the LBRP which placed the angels in their Yetziratic positions (i.e. Michael in Tiphareth, Uriel in Netzach, Gabriel in Yesodh, Raphael in Hod; IHVH in the East, Elohim in the South, EL in the west, and Adonay in the North).
Study the Laws of Nature; for even though in trance and spell, one comes into contact with things outside of these laws, it is still necessary to know the bounds of the physical. In order to cause change in the world of mortal men with the higher planes, one must know the rules of the game thou playest.Study Logic, which is the Code of the Laws of Thought. Study the Method of Science, which is the Application of Logic to the Facts of the Universe. Think not that thou canst ever abrogate these Laws, for though they be Limitations, they are the rules of thy Game which thou dost play. For in thy Trances though thou becomest That which is not subject to those Laws, they are still final in respect of these Things which thou hast set them to govern. Nay, o my son, I like not this Word, govern, for a Law is but a Statement of the nature of the Thing to which it applieth. Nor nothing is compelled save only by Nature of its own true Will. So therefore human Law is a Statement of the Will and of the Nature of Man, or else it is a Falsity contrary thereunto, and becometh null and of no Effect.(Liber Aleph, pg. 64)
☉24° ♊, ☽911° ♏ A° IV.༌.xvi
My meditation seem to have fallen into a rut of anti-progressivism. Although I can maintain asana, and a reasonable 10-15 breath interval, I can't honestly write anything down which I can call remarkable progress. I still have troubles with being distracted, by sources inward as well as out, and I still haven't managed to muster the courage t push past that ten minute mark. Being that my perception of time is deceitful, I aught to use a timer.
☉26° ♊, ☽10° ♐ A° IV.༌.xvi
I practiced the Middle Pillar Ritual and and the ritual of elemental equilibration this 'eve. The ritual seemed to resonate well with me on the sensual level but I found myself distracted my a great deal of infantile feelings.  It seems some moron is trying to "help" me by defaming my character. As if behaving as they and adopting their world view represented the highest potential state of my being--how arrogant. Nonetheless, I'm having a difficult time not fixating upon it. I was thus forced to admonish myself to focus more times than I can count.
The only thing I could blame these disturbing thoughts to is my lack of practice of Liber Resh.
I should also remind myself that the harder I try to resist these impulses within myself, the more of their manifestations I shall notice.
As for the LBRP, I'm still having troubles visualizing the Hebrew letters, Aleph and Lamedh. This is actually fortuitous because it means that I can begin working on other visualization exercises than the swinging pendulum.
I've been working on a modified Jugorum technique. I'm wearing a hair band on my left wrist as a means of giving myself negative feedback every time I slur a word or forget something that otherwise should be firmly committed to memory.
I believe that this occurs because of a deep-seated phobia that deactivates my speech and memory. It is as if my means of adapting to years of abuse and stress is to shut down mentally. If I can show this mechanism that the penalty for so doing is consistently negative input, in the form physical pain, perhaps the causes will reveal their true form.
I almost have the first scrying session committed to memory.
☉26° ♊, ☽16° ♐ A° IV.༌.xvi
I performed the meditation on the parts of the soul. I customized the symbols so as to express my own conception f the art: Yechida, as white light; Chiah, as the Lance; Naschemah, as the Graal; Ruach, as the Lamen; Nephesch, as the mechanics of the Yetziratic world (ethereal double); G'uph, as the Sphinx. Most of the symbols were extracted from Liber 777. I found that the energies of this ritual were a lot more potent than that of the Middle Pillar. Be that as it may, my responses to visualization/vibration were significantly less emotional. 
11. There has been some confusion about this matter, so let me clarify. when I say that something is "emotional," it refers to classical emotional responses, such as when you witness the grandeur of nature's power, such as a landslide, or when you see a loved one. Non-emotional, yet "powerful," is more like a sensation that is focused on a particular part of the body, such as the nape of the neck, the solar plexus, or sacrum.
12. This probably needs explanation: this alludes to sexual mysteries. In further entries, I switch hands, such that my weapons correspond the the archetypal man and the pillars of Jakin and Boaz.
The Earth ritual was performed a lot more efficaciously than the last, but there were still quite a few mistakes. Still no intended result.
I forgot to vibrate "IAO" along with the invoking pentagrams, and vibrate "AGLA" fr the western banishing pentagram. The bournless ritual was still a little rusty and I screwed up the closing LBRP and the EQ (ritual of elemental equilibration).
The energy felt very strong. I felt a sharp pinch in my sternum, sweat, wavy hallucinations, time slowing*. I was also very much preoccupied with the most banal infantilities. It seems that more meditation is called for.
☉3° ♋, ☽13° ♓ A° IV.༌.xvi
Meditation this afternoon lasted for 15 minutes; it did not need the assistance of the alarm clock. My mental breaks were myriad, but always met with a curt "tat sat." This seems to cause many breaks of the same nature to transform (e.g. love to hate, me to they, etc.).
I'm really beginning to grasp hold of the oxygen enriching effects of the 10-15 interval.My face and hands flex and extend totally unconsciously.
☉4° ♋, ☽18° ♓ A° IV.༌.xvi
I performed the middle pillar this 'eve. I decided to integrate the bournless ritual with the middle pillar.
I found that there is a spiteful malignancy within my unconscious that seems to be running on full autopilot. It usually targets respectable figures in my life, while I'm trying to focus on something important.Until I can find a way to integrate this aspect of myself with my true being, I'll only be but fragments of a man.
The invocation to the Bournless One wasn't as powerful as I thought it would be. I felt a sharp pulse in my sternum--not the beneficial kind.
My state of mind is rather foggy. I conclude in stating that my next step should be towards matra yoga.
--My post mantra meditation was horrible, lasting only 13 minutes. I had a difficult time not unconsciously contracting the muscles of my face, maintaining the focused breath techniques, and mentally focusing.
☉4° ♋, ☽26° ♓ A° IV.༌.xvi
My practice of mantra yoga went without many breaks. I was always sure to greet the mental break with "tat sat."
I was only able to count about three or four physical beaks during the experience. The mantra I adopted was "Achad Rosh Achadatho Rosh Ichudo Temuratzo Achad." This mantra seems apropos, considering my intent to integrate un-willed complexes into the rest of my psyche.
I did not get good sleep last night. Consequently, I forgot to check the time; I know not the duration of the meditation.
I do feel more focused--as focused as may be expected, considering. I feel as if my nervous system was enriched with much needed oxygen.
☉5° ♋, ☽10° ♈ A° IV.༌.xvi
I've found that good sleep and mantra yoga has already had its positive effects. When performing the Star Ruby, I had a few of those "blurtings from the unconscious."
My practice is still very much in its infancy. My pace and rythm still needs quite a bit of work. My focus seems to have greatly improved using this technique, albeit there are still quite a few mental and physical breaks. My meditation lasted ~9 minutes. I feel mentally energized and less prone to mania.
☉7° ♋, ☽6° ♉ A° IV.༌.xvi
My Star Ruby practice was very unforced, although my mind was very preoccupied with with secular trifles.
Mantra yoga lasted ~17 minutes. It seems my breath intervals have improved immensely as the result of this discipline. It takes a good ~5 minutes to get my mind focused on the mantra. I notice that I can only get those empty, truly meditative moments a few times per sit.
☉10° ♋, ☽29° ♊ A° IV.༌.xvi
I find myself still very much distracted by the inner averse voice of my primitive jealousies. My ability to contemplate the meaning of the mantra as I'm chanting has improved. I can keep pace with the mantra up to the three fold repetition.
Doing this seems to suppress my stray thoughts. I only pray that one day this will translate into my everyday activities. I've also noticed that the mantra seems to have improved my breath a great deal faster than my more direct approaches. Perhaps there really are appropriate, orderly steps in the Great Work.
16. The way I performed japa for a considerable amount of time was to accelerate my mantra at fixed intervals. I did this by exhaling and saying the mantra very slowly, the speeding it up by saying it twice in one exhale, then thrice, etc. becoming quieter each interval.
☉11° ♋, ☽8° ♋ A° IV.༌.xvi
Mantra yoga went well this afternoon. Thanks to my recent practice of Liber 3 vel Jugorum, I've had remarkably fewer stray thoughts. More will be revealed in its propper place.
My breath was a little taxed, as was my ability to focus.
I found that, after about 5-7 minutes, I was able to focus upon the meaning of the mantra. Meditation lasted 20 minutes.
On Liber III:
I have tried to omit quite a few words from my vocabulary with no success. It seems that, when I choose a word, I automatically refrain from its use, or I'm never presented with the opportunity. I've upped the ante to thoughts now: every time I think about someone I would normally respect in some un-willed, dialectical way, I snap the hair tie. At times, I can hear a distant voice screaming out in pain.
☉11° ♋, ☽12° ♋ A° IV.༌.xvi
My meditation this evening went well, but was interrupted by my allergies.
I attempted my meditation once more. I felt a pulse in my forehead (this is good, right?) but my blood pressure went up, so I decided to quit.
☉19° ♋, ☽15° ♎ A° IV.༌.xvi
My ritual work this afternoon was some of the best I have done in a long time. I still experienced some of the "stray thinking" but it seems that regular practice of mantra yoga has attenuated it considerably.
The LBRP was performed well. I have changed the angelic evocations for a vibration to something more like a sonorous tone. This seemed to work well, as I thought I could make out a faint image before me at times.
Although I made mistake such as saying "unus," where I was supposed to say "uno," my performance of the Star Sapphire was great!The energy was there, and verily, I felt the death of a great deal of sickness melt away. I switch the analysis of the Key Word for Craig's version back to Liber O.
My practice of the Middle Pillar was, by my own practice standards, shabby. Be that as it may, the moral juxtaposition was incredible. My memorization of the names was great and visualization was good.
I felt my own mental malignancies were beginning to take a life of their own as I slowly began to dispell them
I followed the ritual with the first portion of Crowley's Bournless Ritual. For a few seconds, I found myself in mental quietude.
☉19° ♋, ☽26° ♎ A° IV.༌.xvi
My stray thoughts are still plaguing me, but their prevalence is waning more and more as the days go by. I find that I can go for almost a minute without any interruptions.As for my mantra yoga: I meditated for ~19 minutes-- a pleasing achievement. I find that my focus has improved, i.e. I can remember and keep up with the inhale breath & contemplate the mantra, step-by-step, up to the four count.
I find that certain activities cause vivid imprints upon my mind, e.g. my activities on the internet. The mantra yoga seems to be helping me to recognize this, because of their out-of-place feel, relative to all else.
☉19° ♋, ☽0°25' ♏ A° IV.༌.xvi
My meditation this 'eve lasted ~22 minutes. I came across quite a few difficulties, viz. I experience trouble keeping up with my mantra, there were some breaks in posture, I had a few stray thoughts, I was interrupted by impressions.
I found that my face had crumpled up quite a few times, my posture arched once, and I twitched a few times. Albeit my focus upon breath went well, my concentration on the mantra was week. I've been experiencing the foggy-headedness again.
I feel that I did not get good results.
☉22° ♋, ☽13° ♐ A° IV.༌.xvi
My practice of the Star Sapphire is improving. I do need to work on it a little more often, though. My ability to focus during all rituals seems to diminish as the intoxication of the ritual increases--geometry seems to be the most difficult.
I experienced a few breaks in posture during asana.The mental beaks were overly prolific. That being said, I that I was truly focused a few times during the work.
I'll be including primal scream therapy as a preface to ritual and academic work in the future.
☉5° ♌, ☽8° ♊ A° IV.༌.xvi
My performance of the Star Sapphire ritual one of the best yet, in that my form was excellent. The only flaw was that I said "filio," where I aught to have said "filius." I used the incense stick for tracing the hexagrams. I think I like this approach.
I need to study the eucharist.
The ritual had a potent effect, albeit it was not nearly as powerful as the first time. Somewhere I remember Crowley stating that overcoming the experience of intoxication is a sign of progress.
One interesting thing to note is that the QC before the MP was sung instead of vibrated. I didn't plan to do this ahead of time, it just seemed appropriate at the moment.
The Middle Pillar went well: good concentration, form, feeling. The most positive thing I could state about this experience is that the averse voice muttered "so mote it be, damn it!" at the end of the LBRP. Translating the words mentally stills and focuses the mind.
17. I went through a long period where I sung all of my rituals instead of vibrating them. It all stemmed back to this moment.
☉8° ♌, ☽17° ♋ A° IV.༌.xvi
I performed an on-the-fly version of the IOB ritual this morning.  It was my intent to cut off my connection to a prop dagger that I had presumed stolen.
It was performed thus:
Purification and Consecration
Invocation to the Bornless One
### ### ###
"In the divine name, Shaddai El Chai, I, Scientia eCorona, etc."
Consecrate the eidolon
I moved to the West and did an outward, clockwise spiral dance, while chanting "Anaphexaton! Tetragrammaton! Primumeton!"
"You have fallen from my hands, into the hands of the heathen. You have been perverted, dirtied, etc."
I focused on the object and vibrated the divine names of the EQ, visualizing the object disappearing from existence.
I received a sudden intuition that the ritual was evil. After tracing the banishing pentagram, I read aloud from chapter I of Liber Legis.
License for the angels to depart.
I performed this ritual on the fly because I knew it to be the only way to eliminate the karmic bondage associated with the object. I knew, in my deepest of deeps, that someone had ill will in taking it.
It's interesting to note that I feel as if I banished more than my mere attachment to the dagger. My malign feelings towards Thomas are gone, although he acts the same as usual. I also noticed that strange memories began to flood back into my consciousness--memories about my old friend Tyrone, especially the times we spent at the Capitol Club apartments.
More needs to be done with this ritual.
18. Identify, Objectify and Banish. For more details on this ritual, see Donal Michael Craig's book, Modern Magick.
19. Since then, the dagger has returned to me, lost again, stolen, found by the police, and is still safely in the hands of one of my brothers.
☉12° ♌, ☽5° ♍ A° IV.༌.xvi
I attempted to do a more formal version of the ritual I mentioned in the past entry. This was at the last minute, just as much as the last. I tried to make the ritual more formal by adding the preliminary invocation but failed at that step. I still feel attached to a foreign entity. It is as if I'm still connected to some of my transgressors from the past, not only in a psychological way, but by way of the plastic medium. Perhaps its my karma to become the man I'm meant to be by way of self defense. Most of my personal development has been some form of self defense. Martial arts, physical exercise, banishing rituals, casting circles, exorcisms... Banishing what, by the way? I feel as if I'm constantly fighting to be free, that fulfilling my destiny MUST occur by way of battle.
☉12° ♌, ☽18° ♍ A° IV.༌.xvi
Rising on the planes
I attempted to rise on the planes  for the first time this 'eve. I've been procrastinating engaging in this activity for quite some time now. I've decided to adapt the ritual to my own needs, making it more akin to the rising of Nehushtan.
I adapted the ritual thus:
Ben, ADNI, ARETz/Sabathai, Shaddai, Shemmesh, ALHIM Tzabaoth, Madim, IHVH Tzabaoth, AQoReB, IHVH Aloah v-Daath, etc.
The ritual seemed to have a positive effect. My ability to visualize has improved and I feel like a part of myself has returned from the dead--I can't quite put my finger on it. No visions, except for the unexpected appearance of an eye, while crossing the path, Peh.
Tomorrow, I will attempt the Regardie version and contrast the results.
20. For more details, see Israel Regardie's book, A Garden of Pomegranates. See also Liber O.
☉19° ♌, ☽23° ♐ A° IV.༌.xvi
I practiced the Regardie version of rising on the planes. I attained to my intent of reaching Tiphareth in the formal sense, but am uncertain of what to make of the experience itself.
I had the most peculiar vision of an open wheat field ready for harvest. I then saw a trasparent pyramid shape overlapping this scene. Strange.
When passing through Da'ath, I felt as is my being was being distorted, as if my I were a liquid flowing up a drainpipe.
My experience with Yesodh of Yetzirah was exciting. It was filled with myriad rapidly moving grey figures--they had no distinguishing features. I tried to focus on the Kerubim.
Tiphareth of Yetzirah was mostly a sensual experience, although I did see a faint eye shaped whirlpool. I don't know what to make of it. I tried to focus on the Melakim. Next time, I'll try to call out to them
Crowley, Aleister. Book of Thoth (Egyptian Tarot). Yor Beach, MN: Red Wheel/Weiser, 1969. Print.
Crowley, Aleister. Liber Aleph vel CXI. York Beach, NY: Red Wheel/Weiser,1991. Print.
Crowley, Aleister. 777 and other Qabalistic Writings of Aleister Crowley. York Beach, MN: Red wheel/Weiser, 1986. Print.
Aleister Crowley, Lon Milo DuQuette, and Christoher Hyatt, Ph.D. Enochian World of Aleister Crowley: Enochian Sex Magick. Tempe, AZ: New Falcon, 1991. Print.
Lon Milo DuQuette, Christopher Hyatt, Aleister Crowley and David P. Wilson. Aleister Crowley's Illustrated Goetia, 3rd ed.Tempe, AZ: New Falcon. Print.
DuQuette, Lon Milo. The Magick of Aleister Crowley. York Beach, MN: Red Wheel/Weiser, 2003. Print.
Chic Cicero and Sandra Tabatha Cicero. Self-Initiation Into the Golden Dawn Tradition, 1st ed. St. Paul, MN: Llewellyn Publications, 1998. Print.
Fortune, Dion. Psychis Self-Defense: The Classical Instruction Manual for Protecting Yourself. York Beach, MN: Red Wheel/Weiser, 2011. Print.
Fortune, Dion. The Mystical Qabalah. York Beach, MN: Red Wheel/Weiser, 2000. Print.
Godwin, David. Cabalistic Encyclopedia. St Paul, MN: Llewellyn Publications, 2003. Print.
Regardie, Israel. A Garden of Pomegranates: Scrying on the Tree of Life, 3rd ed. York Beach, MN: Red Wheel/Weiser, 2004. Print.
Regardie, Israel. The Middle Pillar: The Balance Between Mind and Magic, 3rd ed. York Beach, MN: Red Whell/Weiser, 2004. Print.